Tag: friends

All the Amusement

I have a long, serious post waiting in the wings for the right time to finish it, but yesterday deserves a post of its own. I was feeling pretty threadbare by the time Thursday came along, but it sure kickstarted my four-day mini-holiday in the most perfect way possible. We had decided that if the weather was favourable, we’d spend the day at Tivoli Friheden, since we got season cards (for free entry and some discounts) and one-time-use wristbands that give access to all the rides as a Christmas present from M’s parents. The day dawned with sun shining from a clear sky, and as all weather forecasts pretty much said that the day would be beautiful aside for some small showers in the afternoon, we headed to the fairground as soon as it opened.

None of the attractions were open quite yet, so we took a walk around the whole park to see what they had and what we definitely wanted to try. I knew from my visit to the Finnish tivoli last summer that my stomach doesn’t handle the wild rides quite as well as it used to, so I’d have to pace myself, and so the plan was to do one fast thing at a time and then do slower things until I’d feel up for another fast one, and this was fine with M. We chose Cobra as the first ride, and while it was way too short, we both enjoyed it immensely. It reminded me a great deal of the Demon in Copenhagen’s Tivoli, which I fell completely in love with on my visit there a few years ago. (Demon was better, but still.) After that we headed to the Haunted House, where we got to shoot up some zombies, and M got the second best score of the day. (My gun was broken, so it refused to shoot 3/4 of the time, which was really sad.)

On our walk around the park, M had remarked that on his last visit there some 10 years ago, he’d loved the Pegasus the most, so that’s where we headed next. It was one of the two attractions I was pretty sure would mess up my stomach because it rotates in all directions, but it also looked like a blast, so I definitely wanted to try it. The ride turned out to be absolutely squeal-worthy, but also perhaps just a tad too long, and by the time we got our feet back on the ground, I felt like a break was in order. Amusingly the plan was to hit the Ferris Wheel afterwards to calm us down, but that turned out to be a huge mistake. By the time we got to the top of the wheel, I felt more nauseous than I had after either of the fast rides, and M felt the same! I don’t quite know what caused it, but I think it was the fact that the little cabin we sat in kept swinging back and forth just a little bit, and somehow that was really causing motion sickness. Defeated by the Ferris Wheel… Didn’t see that coming!

By the time we got off the ride, we’d been in the park for some 1,5 hours and I felt like maybe some food was in order as that might settle my stomach a bit, so we went to eat chicken paninis for lunch. Generally amusement park food is overpriced and not particularly good quality, but the paninis were actually really big and tasty, so while the price was high, we at least didn’t feel cheated. The break did us good, too, so once we were done with eating, we were ready for some more amusement. We both still felt that we weren’t feeling quite as stable as when we started in the morning, so we decided to start slow, and hit the Illusions Factory. Which in hindsight wasn’t the best choice, as it’s all about optical illusions and such to mess with your head, and some of it was pretty effective, too. Nonetheless, fun was had, and once we were through, we felt up to giving the Wave Swinger a try. After some initial difficulties (including M banging me in the head with a metal bar and almost sliding off his side of the chair), we enjoyed it a lot, although it was one more thing to make our heads spin.

It was time to stay at ground level for a bit, so we headed for the fairly long queue for the Bumper Cars, as I figured the waiting time would be enough for my head to stop spinning. There was a short discussion about whether we should sit in the same car, but we both wanted the wheel (of course), so separate cars it was! I had a lot of fun chasing M around the arena, and he got a few good bumps in, too. Afterwards we figured we were up for another fast ride, so it was clearly time for the roller coaster. While we were queuing, we noticed there were some clouds gathering in the sky, and by the time The Hurricane took off, the first drops started falling. We enjoyed the ride, but afterwards it was time to find some shelter, as it started to rain a little harder.

We found a café that still had seats left, and opted for some Belgian waffles with ice cream and chocolate sauce with our coffee. The price was again pretty extravagant, but once we got the waffles, we had to admit they were worth it. They were warm, delicious and quite filling, and the ice cream on top was heaped so high I was seriously worried I wouldn’t be able to finish mine. By the time we were done with them, we were both so full it was pretty evident we wouldn’t be able to stomach another fast ride, and as it still kept raining, we decided to head home, all tired and happy.

The rest of the day was pretty lazy, and all in all I have to say it was just glorious. I felt more recharged than I have in weeks, and I still have three days left of my holiday! Today is all about cleaning the apartment and practicing for my upcoming Danish placement test, which is on Monday. Tomorrow we have some friends coming over, so I’m planning to bake pulla in the morning, and on Sunday I’m rather hoping we get to go and see the new Mad Max movie. Next week my dear friend S is coming to spend an extended weekend with us, which I’m really looking forward to, and we plan to watch the Eurovision Song Contest finale together, which I expect to be good fun.


I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the Danish spring so far. It all kicked off with a sudden realisation that there are these white, blooming trees everywhere in April even though nothing else had even leaves yet. We had a bunch of them just outside our living room window, and you could spot them all around the city. They dropped their flowers as suddenly as they got them, after which the first trees began sprouting green leaves, and little flowers began popping up here and there on the grassy spots. The weather has become steadily warmer since, and while it’s not quite summery yet, we’ve had a few days when sandals were definitely appropriate.

Visits

Okay, so I cheated a bit. I wrote the bulk of the previous post on Sunday morning, but then all of a sudden time (quite thematically appropriately) got away from me, so I had to leave it as a draft when we left to meet M’s friends. Which became more of an adventure than we expected, because buses completely screwed us over, and we ended up spending 1,5 hours trying to get to where we needed to go, and ultimately reached our destination an hour late. Embarrassing, but not our fault! However, what I was trying to say is, I posted it just now, so technically I didn’t post an entry last week, and that means it’s penance time again. Hence you’re getting two for the price of one, lucky bastards!

Back to Sunday’s adventure: the first bus we took had to deviate from its normal route due to road work, which meant that we had to get off on the wrong stop, and by the time we reached the stop of the next bus we were supposed to take, it had already gone. Or it never went at all, because of the road work… I don’t even know. However, we ended up walking quite the distance to another stop where we ultimately discovered that we needed to wait half an hour for the next bus. Fortunately the weather was gorgeous, so sitting and waiting wasn’t so bad, and on our way there we glimpsed a shop I’ve been meaning to visit for a while now. We totally would have had the time to visit it, too, but we didn’t know that when we passed it, and by the time we found out, it was way too late… But even so, now we know where it is, and we’ll definitely visit soon.

Fortunately M’s friends didn’t mind our lateness, but instead welcomed us with a table full of all kinds of tasty treats. It was an interesting visit for several reasons. They got to meet the elusive girlfriend they only learnt about recently, and I got to meet a bunch of people M chats with on a daily basis, but whom he rarely meets in person. So why did they only learn about me recently, you may wonder, and the answer is both extremely simple and strangely complicated.

You see, my friends are people I share intensely personal things with. His friends are people who share interests with him, and in this particular case, the same university background and profession. Where I talk with my friends maybe on a monthly basis (if we’re lucky…), he talks to his pretty much every day, but the things we talk about differ wildly. My friends know me. I tell them if something important happens in my life, and even though we connect rarely, we do so on a deep, personal level. They aren’t an active part of my everyday life, but I carry them with me every step of the way, and I always know that if I need them, they’re only one email or phone call away (and vice versa, of course). M’s friends know next to nothing about him, personally, and so the subject of having a Finnish girlfriend move in with him simply never came up, until a few weeks ago it got mentioned entirely tangentially. Cue intense curiosity from their side, and a sudden invitation for coffee ;)

In person their curiosity was much more subdued, and only one personal question ever got asked, which was about what I do for a living. That one didn’t take long to answer, and soon we were back to talking about the horrors of software development in environments that are endlessly bogged down by layers and layers of procedure. Or how bad it is when there is not enough procedure. Apparently it’s a hard thing to get right. Made me feel oddly good about my job, which at least is clear and unimpeded, if not terribly engaging. All in all, I enjoyed the visit a lot, although I’ve no idea how much they got out of it. I guess we’ll see if we get invited again.


Today I reached a milestone of a kind: my first dentist visit in Denmark! One of my molars has been aching a bit lately, and on Sunday and Monday it was bad enough that I resorted to painkillers. So, on Monday after work I walked to the nearby dentist’s office and asked for an appointment, and got one for this morning. (This all sounds so easy now, but I absolutely detest having to use any health care services at all, especially abroad, so getting myself through that door was more of a struggle than is readily apparent.)

This morning I was so nervous about the appointment, I left for work without my bike helmet, which is unheard of. I just simply forgot, and by the time I realised, it was too late to go back and get it. I’ve worn the stupid thing religiously ever since I got it, so it was the weirdest thing to just suddenly forget. Fortunately I only had a half hour of work before the appointment, so I didn’t have to spend the entire day dreading it.

Unsurprisingly, everything went very well once I got there. The dentist was extremely nice and spoke excellent English, and couldn’t find anything wrong with my molar, so the current assumption is that I’ve been grinding my teeth at night which then aggravated the tooth. The plan is to wait and see if it calms down on its own, and if so, then nevermind. (It’s been much better today anyway, so things look promising.)

Of course, she also found a broken filling and some cavities that will require two additional visits in the near future, which is not so great, especially considering the pricing of Danish dental health care, but so it goes. It’s been a while since I last got my teeth checked, so it’s not exactly surprising, and I’m just happy to have everything taken care of. Having my own dentist is another small step towards belonging here, as odd as it may sound.

B is for Bronchitis

So, last week really sucked. First M got sick (well, this happened on the weekend before last), and on Tuesday I started coughing as well. On Wednesday morning I woke up to a 38 degree fever, which only got worse during the day. The highest temperature I measured was 38,7, and the blasted thing lasted for four and a half days, until yesterday my fever finally broke. (It broke intermittently during nights as well, so that every night I would wake up swimming in my own sweat, but that really doesn’t count. However, massively gross.) The coughing has been pretty much a constant, although my version is much less severe than M’s. There was some sniffling and such as well, but that only really lasted for a few days and is mostly gone now. The fever was the real deal. It drained me of all energy, and most days I spent sleeping or desperately trying to. When I was awake, I was in this weird haze of not really being able to think. My body was so weak I couldn’t sit up for an extended period of time without feeling woozy and having to lie back down again. Obviously doing anything beyond that was a lost cause.

Timing was also important, as E was supposed to visit us this week. The original plan was for her to come on Wednesday evening and stay either until the weekend or Monday. But as the plague hit, we figured it would be best if she stayed in Copenhagen for a few days first to give us a little time to get better (and possibly be less contagious) before her visit, and that’s how it went. She arrived on Saturday instead, and fortunately I was feeling a little better by then, as the fever had gone down to 37-38 degrees instead of 38+. The jolt of suddenly talking quite a bit backfired on Saturday evening when my throat simply decided “no more!” and started feeling like someone stabbed me there, and I’m still recovering from that, but it’s getting better all the time. E taught me to make this vile-tasting ginger/orange drink that really soothes the throat, so that helps, too.

Yesterday afternoon, M and I were finally contemplating getting me to see a doctor because the fever just wouldn’t go down and it didn’t really react to painkillers either, and maybe most worryingly, because I was increasingly lethargic. However, by the time he had looked up the necessary information and I took my temperature one last time to let the nurse know, it had gone down and was only 37. For the first time I also genuinely felt better. The fever stayed that low for the rest of the day, and while I still sweated a bunch during the night, it wasn’t quite as bad as it had been before. My temperature has been normal today, and hopefully that’ll be the end of it. I still called in sick today because my voice isn’t functioning, but I will go in tomorrow and hopefully by then I can do a normal day’s work.

It was a delight to have E visit us, and I’m so glad we didn’t have to cancel altogether. This has been a really hard six days, but at least M and I are both well on our way to recovery by now.

Being Present

This week has gone by so fast. My cousin A was supposed to visit on Monday, but she got a nasty stomach bug on Sunday and couldn’t travel after all. We had made a restaurant reservation for Monday evening that we decided to keep even though she couldn’t make it. We figured it could be an impromptu date night, and I was quite looking forward to it all day. It turned out okay: food was good if not great, and we had the place mostly to ourselves, but something was off about the evening. It felt like M’s thoughts were elsewhere, and I just felt invisible. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and once we got home, I let myself get totally distracted by chatting with a friend online instead of spending time with M for about an hour, after which we proceeded to watch the latest episode of The Walking Dead as we had agreed earlier. The evening wasn’t a bad one by any means, but neither was it what we had expected.

I woke up insanely grumpy on Tuesday, and couldn’t really put my finger on it. It took me pretty much the whole day to figure it out, and once M came home from work, we finally took a moment to talk about it. I told him about having been disappointed by the restaurant portion of our “date night”, and he told me much the same about what came after. We both felt better afterwards, and decided to give it another go on Saturday.

The rest of the week until the weekend was exhausting, and on Friday evening I was so beat that I went to bed quite a bit earlier than normally and slept like the dead. Saturday, however, was perfect. Lots and lots of extremely good together-time, yummy Chinese food and a movie we both enjoyed. But the best part was, we were both there, present, focused on each other. Such a huge difference compared to Monday.

It’s so easy to get distracted by everyday things. We both have a lot of things going on that have relatively little to do with our relationship with each other, and we spend the majority of every day apart because of work, my language course, our hobbies, and our friends. Not to mention the occasional alone time we both require. It’s easy to accidentally bring that disconnect into our time together as well, but I think for us to stay happy together, we really need to try and not let that happen. Saturday was living proof of how incredibly good it can be when we succeed.

Lost and Found

I took a day off work today because I can’t stop randomly bursting into tears. I’m generally highly practiced with keeping my emotions in check, but right now I need a little time to adjust.

See, I have a friend, L. We’ve known each other for several years, but I don’t know her real name, age, address, phone number, email or really any “relevant” details. I’m not even 100 % sure she is a she, it’s just an assumption made based on several years’ worth of interaction online. She’s the most private person I know, but for the past four years or so, I have spent more time with her on a weekly basis than probably any of my RL friends simply by virtue of sharing a gaming hobby. For the past two or so years, we’ve had weekly get-togethers where we’d play together for a few hours and talk about all kinds of things while we were at it. That is, until the start of last October when she suddenly vanished.

At first, I was mildly concerned but not particularly alarmed, because she has disappeared for short periods of time before. I contacted her via the website we generally use to communicate, but she didn’t reply, and I could see that she hadn’t even read the messages. She didn’t log on to any of the sites/games we normally use, and as time passed, I got more and more worried. No one had heard from her. Still, she’s really private, so there was a possibility she simply wanted to take some time off. I kept writing to her every now and then, but there was never any reply. And eventually so much time passed that I began believing the worst. I contacted the only person I knew who might have some additional means of contacting L, and she promised to try, but nothing came of it. Another friend suggested we’d contact a few of the services we all use to see if the administrators would agree to pass our contact details on to L. We tried it, but the only answer we got was “privacy policy, we can’t do this”. Eventually we gave up.

I’ve been writing to her every now and then, just to reach out in case one day she might show up. I stopped believing she would, but a part of me would just stubbornly hold on, which was worse than being able to let go. Not knowing what had happened was really the worst thing. It was like she was lost at sea; no body to say goodbye to. Eventually I decided to give her until her birthday, which is in March. (I don’t know her actual birthday, because she refused to tell me, so I made up a date and dragged her out to celebrate it with me every year. It’s usually been dinner and quality time with my RL friends, and with her it was a few hours of shooting up aliens and talking bull.) I planned to write a eulogy on that date and post it to the group we used to frequent, just to say goodbye and let other people say something if they wanted to.

This morning I got a message from the friend who had tried to contact L earlier. She had just gotten a reply, and it turns out L suffered a stroke in October, and she’s been in recovery all this time. She very nearly didn’t make it, and she’s forgotten the passwords to the services and websites we normally use. I don’t know how bad the situation is exactly, as the message I got was short, but she’s alive, and she sent me a hi, so I assume she at least remembers me. I don’t know what she’s lost in terms of motor skills and such, but she’s alive, and there’s a chance she’ll be a part of my life again some day. It felt like I’d been holding my breath for months and suddenly I could release it. I just started crying, and I haven’t really been able to stop since.

I’ve tried so hard not to be upset about her disappearance. I’ve lost people before, and it hurts, but that’s life for you. You take the bad with the good, and you just have to appreciate the time you do get to spend with the people you love. I don’t know if I’ll get her back as the kind of friend I used to have her as, but she’s still out there, and that means she’s still within reach. There is still hope. Maybe one day I’ll write that eulogy, but it’s not going to be just yet, and for that I’m so incredibly grateful, you have no idea.

Today the world is a bit brighter than it was yesterday.

Building Blocks

This week was really tiring but in many ways less stressful than January was. While it’s a little early to say, I feel like I’ve regained my balance at work. I made a few changes in how I do things and some adjustments in my attitude, and the results have been promising. We’ll see how it goes from here, but at least for the moment I feel better. I also finally bought a gym membership, which means I will try to go at least once a week with a friend from work. Eventually I’m hoping to increase it to twice a week, although the other time will have to be by myself as our work hours don’t coincide well enough at the start of the week. In any case, I’m very excited, because the lack of exercise has really bothered me. Regular exercise does wonders for my moods, but it’s so easy to neglect. I just need to stop letting laziness win. (Of course, yesterday’s workout left me completely crippled today, so it’ll be an adjustment to get started with a regular routine again…)

In other good news, there are now several friends scheduled to come and visit us! My cousin A will take a day off of her mid-February work-related visit to Aarhus to spend with us, which I’m really excited about, because I haven’t seen her in ages, and she’s never even met M yet. One of my dearest friends E will visit sometime in early March (the exact details haven’t been nailed down yet, but that’s the current estimate), and sweet S will spend a long weekend with us in late May. I’m really looking forward to seeing them all, and hopefully we’ll have more visits in the future, too.

As a survival strategy, I’ve found having things to look forward to is the most effective one. That, and taking care of oneself physically. I haven’t done the best job with the latter lately, but I’m hoping to get it right from now on.

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