Tag: digest

Askel askeleelta

Viimeisen puolentoista viikon jakso oli kokonaisuudessaan todella uuvuttava, koska mitään ei tuntunut tapahtuvan. Vanhaan asuntoon ei mahtunut enää lisää täysiä pahvilaatikoita, joten en voinut pakata enempää, ja odotimme yhden rakennusfirman remonttitarjousta päivätolkulla vain saadaksemme sellaisen, joka ei lopulta vastannut sitä mitä tarvitsimme. Saimme sittemmin kyllä tehtyä siihen tarvittavat korjaukset, mutta joka tapauksessa remontin valmistuminen olisi aikaisintaan joulukuun alussa.

Olemme sopineet nykyisen vuokranantajan kanssa avainten luovutuksesta marraskuun loppuun mennessä, ja tällä välillä ainoat mahdolliset muuttoviikonloput ovat joko ensi viikolla tai siitä kolmen tai neljän viikon päästä johtuen M:n vanhempien lomamatkasta ja M:n työmatkasta, joten kaiken tämän huomioon ottaen valinnan teko oli aika itsestään selvää. Vaikka itse muuttaminen on toki fyysisesti raskasta, on se silti ainakin minun mielenlaadulleni sopivampaa puuhaa kuin pelkkä odottelu ja jatkuva epävarmuus.

Niinpä remppa tulee sitten kun tulee, mutta me muutamme ensi viikonloppuna. Näin vältymme enemmältä tuskalliselta odottelulta, joka ei välttämättä kuitenkaan johtaisi siihen, että pääsisimme muuttamaan “valmiiseen” asuntoon. Alkuperäinen toiveemme oli, että saisimme muuton mahdollisimman valmiiksi kerralla ilman että joutuisimme elämään sitomattomien langanpätkien kanssa viikko- tai peräti kuukausikaupalla muuton jälkeen, mutta milloinpa asiat menisivät täysin suunnitellusti. Aikaisen muuton nurja puoli on se, että joudumme jättämään yläkerran toimistohuoneet tyhjiksi siihen asti, että saamme viimein jonkun repimään alas niiden välisen seinän ja muuraamaan toisen oviaukon umpeen, mutta onneksi alakerrassa on tarpeeksi tilaa kirjoituspöydille sun muulle, koska kirjahyllyt on vielä hankkimatta…

Ensimmäinen lasti jo pakattuja laatikoita vietiin uudelle asunnolle tänään M:n vanhempien suosiollisella avustuksella, ja lisäksi he käyttivät meitä Ikeassa, josta irtosi mukaan muutama kaluste ja muuta rompetta, jolle tulee pian käyttöä. Huomenna menemme kahdestaan asunnolle laittamaan kalusteita kasaan ja purkamaan ne laatikot, joiden sisällölle on jo olemassa paikka. Ensi lauantaina tehdään varsinainen muuttorutistus, jonka jäljiltä meidän on tarkoitus jäädä uuteen asuntoon asumaan. Tässä välillä pakataan kaikki mitä suinkin pystytään, jotta lauantai menisi mahdollisimman sujuvasti.

Parin viime viikon aikana Tanskaan tuli myös ihan selkeä syksy aiemman lämpimän syyskesän sijaan. Nyt kylmä tuuli puhaltaa luihin ja ytimiin eikä aurinkoa näy kuin satunnaisesti repaleisten pilvien välistä. Luulen, että harmaa sää on myös osasyy jatkuvaan väsymykseen, vaikka tietenkin suurin syy on elämäntilanteessa. Vaan stressistä huolimatta sydänalassa läikähti lämpimästi kun laitoin vasta ostamamme kynnysmaton uuden asunnon oven eteen juuri ennen kuin ensimmäinen pahvilaatikko ehti kantajansa käsissä ovelle asti. Meidän oma koti. Hyvä tästä tulee.

Visits

Okay, so I cheated a bit. I wrote the bulk of the previous post on Sunday morning, but then all of a sudden time (quite thematically appropriately) got away from me, so I had to leave it as a draft when we left to meet M’s friends. Which became more of an adventure than we expected, because buses completely screwed us over, and we ended up spending 1,5 hours trying to get to where we needed to go, and ultimately reached our destination an hour late. Embarrassing, but not our fault! However, what I was trying to say is, I posted it just now, so technically I didn’t post an entry last week, and that means it’s penance time again. Hence you’re getting two for the price of one, lucky bastards!

Back to Sunday’s adventure: the first bus we took had to deviate from its normal route due to road work, which meant that we had to get off on the wrong stop, and by the time we reached the stop of the next bus we were supposed to take, it had already gone. Or it never went at all, because of the road work… I don’t even know. However, we ended up walking quite the distance to another stop where we ultimately discovered that we needed to wait half an hour for the next bus. Fortunately the weather was gorgeous, so sitting and waiting wasn’t so bad, and on our way there we glimpsed a shop I’ve been meaning to visit for a while now. We totally would have had the time to visit it, too, but we didn’t know that when we passed it, and by the time we found out, it was way too late… But even so, now we know where it is, and we’ll definitely visit soon.

Fortunately M’s friends didn’t mind our lateness, but instead welcomed us with a table full of all kinds of tasty treats. It was an interesting visit for several reasons. They got to meet the elusive girlfriend they only learnt about recently, and I got to meet a bunch of people M chats with on a daily basis, but whom he rarely meets in person. So why did they only learn about me recently, you may wonder, and the answer is both extremely simple and strangely complicated.

You see, my friends are people I share intensely personal things with. His friends are people who share interests with him, and in this particular case, the same university background and profession. Where I talk with my friends maybe on a monthly basis (if we’re lucky…), he talks to his pretty much every day, but the things we talk about differ wildly. My friends know me. I tell them if something important happens in my life, and even though we connect rarely, we do so on a deep, personal level. They aren’t an active part of my everyday life, but I carry them with me every step of the way, and I always know that if I need them, they’re only one email or phone call away (and vice versa, of course). M’s friends know next to nothing about him, personally, and so the subject of having a Finnish girlfriend move in with him simply never came up, until a few weeks ago it got mentioned entirely tangentially. Cue intense curiosity from their side, and a sudden invitation for coffee ;)

In person their curiosity was much more subdued, and only one personal question ever got asked, which was about what I do for a living. That one didn’t take long to answer, and soon we were back to talking about the horrors of software development in environments that are endlessly bogged down by layers and layers of procedure. Or how bad it is when there is not enough procedure. Apparently it’s a hard thing to get right. Made me feel oddly good about my job, which at least is clear and unimpeded, if not terribly engaging. All in all, I enjoyed the visit a lot, although I’ve no idea how much they got out of it. I guess we’ll see if we get invited again.


Today I reached a milestone of a kind: my first dentist visit in Denmark! One of my molars has been aching a bit lately, and on Sunday and Monday it was bad enough that I resorted to painkillers. So, on Monday after work I walked to the nearby dentist’s office and asked for an appointment, and got one for this morning. (This all sounds so easy now, but I absolutely detest having to use any health care services at all, especially abroad, so getting myself through that door was more of a struggle than is readily apparent.)

This morning I was so nervous about the appointment, I left for work without my bike helmet, which is unheard of. I just simply forgot, and by the time I realised, it was too late to go back and get it. I’ve worn the stupid thing religiously ever since I got it, so it was the weirdest thing to just suddenly forget. Fortunately I only had a half hour of work before the appointment, so I didn’t have to spend the entire day dreading it.

Unsurprisingly, everything went very well once I got there. The dentist was extremely nice and spoke excellent English, and couldn’t find anything wrong with my molar, so the current assumption is that I’ve been grinding my teeth at night which then aggravated the tooth. The plan is to wait and see if it calms down on its own, and if so, then nevermind. (It’s been much better today anyway, so things look promising.)

Of course, she also found a broken filling and some cavities that will require two additional visits in the near future, which is not so great, especially considering the pricing of Danish dental health care, but so it goes. It’s been a while since I last got my teeth checked, so it’s not exactly surprising, and I’m just happy to have everything taken care of. Having my own dentist is another small step towards belonging here, as odd as it may sound.

Lighter

I’m somewhat annoyed by the “weekly digest” format my posts have taken. Of course, currently the only likely alternative is to not write at all, but even so, I hope to eventually reach a point where actual themes emerge. Until then I suppose digests will have to do.


This week was pretty much as average a week as it gets. Work was busy but mostly quite successful, and the language course went well. The combination of work and studies left me really tired by the time we got to Thursday, but this, too, is entirely normal. I had Thursday evening free of all responsibilities, which gave me a bit of a reprieve (and the opportunity to make tiramisu, which I had planned for the Easter break but then postponed due to being sick), and on Friday I hit the gym after work.

We spent Saturday doing things that needed doing, such as packing away winterwear, washing laundry and doing other chores, and then had a lovely date night as counterbalance. Today it’s been even more laundry, M continuing to try to fix a laptop as a favour to a relative, and in the afternoon we’ve been invited for some coffee with a few of his friends I’ll be meeting for the first time. The normalcy of it all has been a relief after all the time spent being sick.

The common theme for the past nine months seems to be “no time”. Always in a hurry, always tired. Being sick so much has just exacerbated the issue, because it is such a horrible time sink. Everything has to be put on hold, be it work, language course, chores, or even the nice, relaxing things, because you don’t even have energy for those. Eventually even the nice things become a part of a giant, neverending To Do List. It’s only recently that I feel like life is less about crossing things off the list and more about actually living, and it feels awfully good. I think the ever-advancing spring has a lot to do with it, because it’s not like my life has substantially changed recently.


Lately I’ve been diving into my comic collection a lot, starting from re-reading Jeff Smith’s entire Bone saga (including Rose), the entire Sandman collection by Neil Gaiman, the first three volumes of Brian K. Vaughan’s Saga, and now all the Elfquests I own, which isn’t quite the entire collection, but a huge chunk of it, anyway. I’m planning on continuing to Joe Sacco’s Footnotes in Gaza (which I haven’t actually read before), and then it would be nice to take a crack at the Valhalla series, since I got the first two volumes of the Den Samlede Saga editions in Danish as birthday presents this year. Good language practice, I’m sure! Beyond that, it just feels good to be reading again.

Getting Back on Track

I ended up being sick for my entire Easter holiday. M recovered a few days before I did, so he got a few not-quite-so-crappy days at the end of it, but I was sniffling and exhausted all the way until work started again. Needless to say, I was not happy, nor did I take it particularly gracefully. My misery was somewhat alleviated by a generous amount of chocolate eggs, but even those were just a band-aid. Nothing could replace the plans we had had, or the wasted beautiful sunny days during which we stayed indoors out of necessity. I was grumpy all through the next work week as well, since we started the month swamped and understaffed, but my mood got slightly better towards the weekend, and yesterday was already very enjoyable. I won’t get another stab at a proper holiday until July, but at least there are some extra days off sprinkled here and there in April and May, so that’ll help a bit.

Yesterday was the only day I could vote in the Finnish parliamentary elections, so as soon as the Honorary Consulate of Finland opened their doors for voters, we made our way there. After a successful (and blessedly short) voting experience, we headed to the city centre for a delicious sushi lunch and some yummy ice cream. We’d been invited for dinner at M’s parents’ place in the evening, so we spent several enjoyable hours there, after which we came home and pretty much went straight to bed.

Today was mostly about catching up with chores, so I finished the work-related translation assignment I started yesterday, after which we cleaned up the apartment, I did my Danish homework, and finally got to spend some quality leisure time by finishing Tomb Raider, which I really enjoyed. It’s also the only AAA single-player game I’ve managed to finish in several years… Dragon Age: Inquisition is currently gathering (proverbial) dust, as I lost interest fairly early on. There’s a number of other titles installed on my hard drive that I’ve either started but not finished or never even started, so hopefully this will be the start of a new era of being able to focus on a single game long enough to finish it.

It’s been a successful weekend, both in terms of having a good time and getting necessary things done, and I think I’ve finally purged the disappointment of the missed Easter holiday from my system. We’ve also made some (hopefully long-lasting and beneficial) changes in our diet and added some vitamin D supplements into the mix, so hopefully there will be less illness in the future. I’m really looking forward to being able to rely on my normal routines without being constantly interrupted by one calamity after another. Also, the weather seems to be getting warmer all the time, so I think it’s fair to say that spring is finally here and summer may be just around the corner! Can’t wait :)

Spring, Chocolate Eggs, Music!

Like I mentioned in the previous post, this week has been insanely hectic. A part of it was the training of a new colleague at work while still trying to make the end-of-the-month project deadline, which meant I was more tired than usually after workdays. Add in the language course evenings and a couple of other lengthy errands I had to run during the week, and suddenly my days were very long indeed. M was gone the entirety of Monday and Tuesday, and the previous weekend didn’t include much together-time, either, since he was embroiled in a forum update project that took the entire weekend (and wasn’t even completely successful, so it will take even more time in the future). By Friday I was pretty much a wreck.

I decided early on in the week that the weekend would be all about relaxing, and what better way to start it than using the Christmas gift card for champagne brunch for two (from M’s uncle and aunt) in an Italian restaurant on a beautiful Saturday morning! The weather was sunny and gorgeous, so I wore a skirt and a pair of high heels to celebrate spring. The food was delightful, and we had a terrific time. Afterwards we shopped for some Easter eggs for next week, and while my collection isn’t nearly complete yet, we did make a few good discoveries. I fully plan to sample all the different chocolate/marzipan eggs they have here to see which ones I like the best.

The rest of the day went by with both of us lazing about. I played some Guild Wars 2, we watched last week’s episode of Vikings and later a movie (Whiplash). It was just what I needed to let go of the week. Today I might even consider doing something useful… I still have one or two days of work next week, but the rest of it is definitely off, and the language course is also on a break for a week and a half. I’m so looking forward to a little spring break!

In other, completely unrelated news, I’ve been listening to Von Hertzen Brothers’ new album New Day Rising on Spotify. I liked their first album quite a bit, but after that (and especially following one really unimpressive festival gig that left me completely cold) I sort of lost interest in the band altogether. I was really surprised to discover I like the new album a lot. For now it has completely replaced my other recent favourite (Say Lou Lou’s Lucid Dreaming), which continues my current trend of falling in love with female Nordic electro-pop artists for reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, but hey, if it works.

B is for Bronchitis

So, last week really sucked. First M got sick (well, this happened on the weekend before last), and on Tuesday I started coughing as well. On Wednesday morning I woke up to a 38 degree fever, which only got worse during the day. The highest temperature I measured was 38,7, and the blasted thing lasted for four and a half days, until yesterday my fever finally broke. (It broke intermittently during nights as well, so that every night I would wake up swimming in my own sweat, but that really doesn’t count. However, massively gross.) The coughing has been pretty much a constant, although my version is much less severe than M’s. There was some sniffling and such as well, but that only really lasted for a few days and is mostly gone now. The fever was the real deal. It drained me of all energy, and most days I spent sleeping or desperately trying to. When I was awake, I was in this weird haze of not really being able to think. My body was so weak I couldn’t sit up for an extended period of time without feeling woozy and having to lie back down again. Obviously doing anything beyond that was a lost cause.

Timing was also important, as E was supposed to visit us this week. The original plan was for her to come on Wednesday evening and stay either until the weekend or Monday. But as the plague hit, we figured it would be best if she stayed in Copenhagen for a few days first to give us a little time to get better (and possibly be less contagious) before her visit, and that’s how it went. She arrived on Saturday instead, and fortunately I was feeling a little better by then, as the fever had gone down to 37-38 degrees instead of 38+. The jolt of suddenly talking quite a bit backfired on Saturday evening when my throat simply decided “no more!” and started feeling like someone stabbed me there, and I’m still recovering from that, but it’s getting better all the time. E taught me to make this vile-tasting ginger/orange drink that really soothes the throat, so that helps, too.

Yesterday afternoon, M and I were finally contemplating getting me to see a doctor because the fever just wouldn’t go down and it didn’t really react to painkillers either, and maybe most worryingly, because I was increasingly lethargic. However, by the time he had looked up the necessary information and I took my temperature one last time to let the nurse know, it had gone down and was only 37. For the first time I also genuinely felt better. The fever stayed that low for the rest of the day, and while I still sweated a bunch during the night, it wasn’t quite as bad as it had been before. My temperature has been normal today, and hopefully that’ll be the end of it. I still called in sick today because my voice isn’t functioning, but I will go in tomorrow and hopefully by then I can do a normal day’s work.

It was a delight to have E visit us, and I’m so glad we didn’t have to cancel altogether. This has been a really hard six days, but at least M and I are both well on our way to recovery by now.

Being Present

This week has gone by so fast. My cousin A was supposed to visit on Monday, but she got a nasty stomach bug on Sunday and couldn’t travel after all. We had made a restaurant reservation for Monday evening that we decided to keep even though she couldn’t make it. We figured it could be an impromptu date night, and I was quite looking forward to it all day. It turned out okay: food was good if not great, and we had the place mostly to ourselves, but something was off about the evening. It felt like M’s thoughts were elsewhere, and I just felt invisible. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and once we got home, I let myself get totally distracted by chatting with a friend online instead of spending time with M for about an hour, after which we proceeded to watch the latest episode of The Walking Dead as we had agreed earlier. The evening wasn’t a bad one by any means, but neither was it what we had expected.

I woke up insanely grumpy on Tuesday, and couldn’t really put my finger on it. It took me pretty much the whole day to figure it out, and once M came home from work, we finally took a moment to talk about it. I told him about having been disappointed by the restaurant portion of our “date night”, and he told me much the same about what came after. We both felt better afterwards, and decided to give it another go on Saturday.

The rest of the week until the weekend was exhausting, and on Friday evening I was so beat that I went to bed quite a bit earlier than normally and slept like the dead. Saturday, however, was perfect. Lots and lots of extremely good together-time, yummy Chinese food and a movie we both enjoyed. But the best part was, we were both there, present, focused on each other. Such a huge difference compared to Monday.

It’s so easy to get distracted by everyday things. We both have a lot of things going on that have relatively little to do with our relationship with each other, and we spend the majority of every day apart because of work, my language course, our hobbies, and our friends. Not to mention the occasional alone time we both require. It’s easy to accidentally bring that disconnect into our time together as well, but I think for us to stay happy together, we really need to try and not let that happen. Saturday was living proof of how incredibly good it can be when we succeed.

34

I used to write a birthday post every year, as a type of “looking back” thing. My birthday is sufficiently close to the start of the year that I could easily make it about summarising the old year, the way people often do at around the start of a new one. I think it’s a nice tradition, and a useful one, too. I forget things so easily, and looking back can give necessary perspective.

So, my 33 was chaotic, to say the least. I don’t remember much of the start of the year. I was looking for a job and had been for half a year by that point, and it seemed like there was no resolution in sight. I was desperately in love with someone who lived far away from me, and sometimes the only thing that seemed to keep me sane was the counter ticking towards our next meeting (which were months apart). I also worked out fairly actively back then, which was another sanity-reinforcing thing in my life.

Things changed abruptly when I applied for a job in Denmark in late June, and was interviewed and accepted in early July. Suddenly I needed to move my entire existence from Finland to Denmark within a month, not to mention move in with someone I knew well, but had only met a handful of times. I couldn’t have done it without the absolutely invaluable (including financial…) help from my parents, and all my dear friends who pitched in as well. That one month was stressful beyond belief, but somehow it all worked out, and by the end of July I had moved to Denmark. The next week I started at my current job.

It has been an adjustment, for sure. The first months were a blur of trying to get all the necessary paperwork taken care of, learning the job, unpacking a life’s worth of things and fitting them into an apartment that already housed someone else’s life, healing hurts (including a nasty infection on my second week here, and a toenail I managed to partially rip off while unpacking things), starting the language course to learn Danish (twice, because they put me in an advanced class first, when I didn’t speak a word yet…), and not least, learning to fit our lives together with M, who has been amazing through it all, I have to say. As has his family, who took me in with open arms.

Eventually things have settled down more. My work contract got renewed at the start of the year, so for now, employment is secure. It’s not a job I want to spend the rest of my life doing, but it sure beats unemployment, and I have a great group of colleagues I enjoy seeing every day. (I got several different happy birthday songs today in Danish, Swedish, Norwegian and even Somali from my colleagues, which was surprising and extremely delightful.) I’m starting to learn Danish, although I still find it very challenging, and it’s going to be a long road before I’m anywhere near fluency. I’ve even taken my first somewhat floundering steps towards physical activity again, after six months of no regular exercise of any kind (besides riding the bike to get from one place to another). And M and I… We fit together. We make each other happier than we are alone, and we’re both pretty happy alone, too.

I miss my friends and family sometimes, but I’m home now. It’s not an entirely familiar home, but it feels right, and I haven’t regretted the choice I made to come here.

As for what I’d like from my 34:

  • Basic fluency in Danish, i.e. the ability to run regular errands and hold a conversation without needing to resort to English much or at all.
  • Regular exercise routine that I find enjoyable and sustainable.
  • More good times with M. I’m especially looking forward to my first Danish summer!
  • Friends’ visits. I already have two scheduled, and hopefully there will be more.
  • Visiting Finland in turn.
  • Learning my way around Aarhus more, so I can find nice places to visit/shop in (and take other people, too), get a library card and other things I still don’t have.

Come what may, I’m looking forward to it!

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